What Kept Me On Going

Yeah, I watched lots of Japanese animation.

Why do I like to watch it so much ?

One of the reasons is the songs.

To be frank, most of the song(s) really tells stories and the lyric actually have meanings.

most of the related to what happen on the surrounding, or what we called as life.

It might boring you, but It kept me going if I'm having a breakdown or total self demolished.

Music, for me really help a lot when it hits direct to point where something is out of ordinary.

One of the songs that I really love to hear again and again is from the Stereopony, Tsukiakari No Michishirube.

One of the songs that I think really related to my complicated personality, rather my life.

so, these are the lyric for the song with translation.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------

Stereopony

sukiakari No Michishirube

 

kotae no nai mainichi ga
tada sugite yuku jikan ga
kore kara saki dounaru no darou?
wakaranai…

These fruitless days and
this time that just passes by,
where will they lead me?
I don’t know…

yami yori mo fukai yoru no kodoku ni
madowasareteta
dareka ni ima kidzuite hoshii…
koko kara nigedashitai kara

Rather than the darkness, I was led astray
by the loneliness of the night.
Someone, please realize it…
I want to run away from this place!

mado kara mieru asayake
heya ni narihibiku oto
ARA-MU ni okosarete
usugurai naka ie tobidasu yo
KABAN no naka ni ha
nani mo kawaranai heibon tsumekonde
soshite itsumo no basho he

From the window, I can see the sunrise,
a sound rings in my room,
awoken by the alarm clock,
In my depression, I dash out from my home.
In my bag, there’s nothing
but the usual stuffed in there…
With that, I go to the usual place.

dareka ga itta kotoba ga
ki ni natte madowasarete
arasoitaku nante nai kara
nani mo ienai
yume ya risou ha aru keredo
kimochi bakari saki ni itte
genjitsu ga zutto ushiro kara
BOKU wo miteru

The words someone said
bother me a bit…they confuse me.
I don’t want to have any disputes,
so I don’t say anything at all.
I have my own dreams and ideals but,
by feelings rush in before I do.
Reality as always been staring at me
from behind.

nee dareka oshiete
minna sou nano kana?
kyou ga shiawase nara
sorede ii to omoerutte
osanai koro ni ha
tashika ni atta yo
yume wo oikaketeta
demo sore mo tooi kioku

Hey, someone tell me,
is everyone else like this?
If today I can be happy,
that’s is enough for me.
Back in my childhood,
I’m sure I had
a dream I chased after…
but that too is just a distant memory…

kotae no nai mainichi ga
tada sugite yuku jikan ga
kore kara saki dou naru no darou?
wakaranai…
TSUKIAKARI no MICHISHIRUBE
kumo wo koe BOKU ni todoke
susumu beki michi wo terashite yo
kyou ga donna ni kowaresou demo

These fruitless days and
this time that just passes by,
where will they lead me?
I don’t know…
The Signs of the Moonlight
crosses over the clouds and reach me
and light the road I must take
even during the bleakest days…

nani ga attemo
nani ga attemo
shinjitetai kara
ano hi no tooi kioku yobisamasu kara
wasurenaide ne mune ni kizamitsuke

no matter what happens,
no matter what happens,
I want to believe
because my memories of those days have awoken me.
I won’t forget them, I carve them in my heart.

kotae ha jibun no naka ni
kanarazu aru mono dakara
akiramenaide
tsuyoku ikiru koto wo yamenaide
kanashi sugite
mae ni susumenai toki demo
mukashi ni nayamiayunda bokura ni
kaze ha fuku
dokomade demo

The answer lies within us,
I’m sure it’s there that’s why
we will not give up.
We won’t stop living strongly
even in harsh times
where we can’t move forward.
To us who have worries,
the wind blows
through thick and thin.
 

---------------------------------------------------------------------------

Good Morning You!

Finally !

I reached ma crib where I used to get my thought wondering in it! The wall ! the ceiling ! the floor !

Ohh what great miss. (suddenly it sound so freaked ?)

ahahha.

yes.

my room.

(well technically, I don't have a room.)

(what the heck ! I'm HOME now !!)

First things I did when the plane touches the runway, I get my pair of legs to works and buckle up my upper extremity with those heavy man-made clothes and gush myself to the car, where my sister is waiting for me.

Arrived home, put my things aside and make myself to William's !

owwhh ... big portion meal ! how i missed it, too!.

---

----

------

After THAT huge meal, crashed myself onto the floor and dozed off.

I would not imagine that I would suffer diarrhea, agian and again.

Well, they called it traveler's diarrhea.

It may seems to it senses.

Whattever ! ..

---

---

----

Well, at all best, I reached home.

for a week at least.

week of holiday = study for exam.

okay ! I might escape a day or two !! I cant resist the indulgence of civilization ! hah !

so, as for today.

I will try to make some macarons and prepare some dishes before I start messing with the ink.

well, now I'm off to find my self in this square room!

ttyl.

Have a nice holiday!

The Eyes.

Praise to god.

Alhamdulillah.

Thank you god ! for giving me back my eyes of creativity !

I never been so excited before since i came here.

And thanks to the environment too, very astonishing and inspiring.

I'm so glad that i bought that Indian Cultural Night Ticket!.

You guys rocks ! H*** yeah !

Even thou' the exam is around the corner, you guys still have the heart to settle things up. 

I salute.

Well, I'll be posting the photo(s) later on facebook.

My lappy seems to be upset somehow.

My lightroom is not functioning properly.

Or am I import too much photo(s) ?.

hehehe.

So, I think I will continue the so-called project of mine next year.

hehehe.

I'll will be looking for photographer(s) that i can work with.

I'm kinda picky and selective about this. hahaha.

But nonetheless, I'll better concentrate on Selanjar 3 now.

--

---

-----

Since the muse are back. So do my mood to study.

hehheheh.

totally unrelated aite ?

I'm supposed.

---

----

------

p/s : I still want to dance bhangra !! please !! next time ask the audience to dance with you guys also !! I'm totally into the crowd ! TOTALLY!

=)

 photo credit to google.

I Hate It !

truthfully ?!!

I hate my new hair cut!!!

much more worse than before ?!!!

this is the ugliest haircut in my whole life!!

even the teacher hair cut is better than this !!

memememme.

I have decided to go and fixed it somehow some where.

hoping it could be fixed ! (please god!)

if not, I'm going GI Joe !!

*credit photo to google.

---

-----

------

Just making myself noted.

DONT go there again.

well .. as for soothing and calm my inner madness,

my aim, for next hair cut would be like these ; hopefully,

keep my hair long !! at least medium long. 

I DONT CARE ABOUT YOUR EFFING RULES ANYMORE!

arrrrrghhh !!

*credit photo to google.

Idea(s)! Eureka!

finally !!

inspiration !

--

---

----

Now i can start writing for the second chapter ?!!

thanks for the long eight hour bus ride + view of the surrounding world + monologue to myself for at least four hour just to construct storyline.

hopefully it doesn't fly away !

--

---

----

off to AMSA AGM !

Just Making Maps of My Own.

who really doesn't want to change their life ?

everybody want to change it, right ?

well, I am one of those.

--

---

----

I am not desperately want to change it all,

but there is something somehow that you will try to change or add to your life right ?

To tell the truth, I really don't know what part of life that I wanted to change.

--

---

----

Seeing people laugh,

(yeah sure, I'd laugh like others)

seeing people smile,

(yeah, I did a lot of smiling too, to certain people) << maybe I should change this.

seeing people cry,

(well, people got to let the water flow right. But at certain time and event only. haha)

seeing people worked hard to earned,

(To earned anything you might say. I've been there (just minor) and there is other people really worked up to earned!)

seeing people socialized,

(Well, as my life still on, I've been socialized my self for works only. I think this is the bad side of me. It is not that i don't like to socialized, it just I still can't break this huge barrier to TRUST people. I still can't find significance ways to develop the TRUST issue.)

seeing people have their best buddy all together,

yeah, I had 'em back before. Maybe because of my action, which is being all so down + sad + think too much about the world + encapsulating myself + bottled up everything inside of me cause me to lose them, making the gap larger. I always think that, why actually they wanted to be friend with me ?. caps that. I really need to learn more about the life around. It is not that I am trying to be selfish to only myself, there is just things that i can't understand, yet.

--

----

-----

Or maybe, I actually running away rather than TRYING to change.

change;

Is it that easy to change ?.

--

---

----

People do asked us to changed.

Change mentality, change behavior, change here and change that.

hoissh. things getting deeper now !

Maybe i should just think it to myself for now.

hehehe.

And now,

I am trying to live my life out loud.

No more taking a long afternoon naps.

It is time for me to ....

Don't Cause Outbreak!

haha.

That was the first sentence voiced out by the nurse at our "beloved" PKP (Pusat Kesihatan Pelajar).

--

---

The story begins with ;

I slept just like any ordinary person, but I think on that unfortunate night I was having my spread peanut butter + raspberry jam sammie. (It taste good though). haha.

I think the cracker crumbs fall all over the bed's cover.

(well there aren't enough space for me to move around in my (small midget) room.

Then, I just decided to swiped away the crumbs to the side of the bed.

(the foolishness start from here).

I slept exactly! yes! exactly at the side of the crumbs!.

You do the math.

With all the crumbs trapped between my lashes and the eyes start to get irritated and I start to rubbed my eyes off.

I didn't realized that its going to be this bad.

My eye (right to be exact), swollen and red.

I thought that it would turn out okay if I leave it be.

Sad. So sad.

 The redness reduces, but the eye still itchy.

Get my legs to the PKP, get my medicine hopefully the sore will reduce to zero.

That is just part one.

--

----

The jam, it taste kind of sour, and yes I thought raspberry supposed to taste sourly.

I ate much last night.

Now, my stomach just can't stop growling.

and that mean I have business call now and then.

---

-----

Yup, two in one.

Got to be careful from now on.

By the way, I did received two day leave from the doctor.

Well, with schedule packed with classes and practical, who need it anyway.

I'll just spread the disease, so everyone get conjunctivitis !!

muahahaha.

owh yeah.

Thanks to the manukian, for the paper thin eye patch.

hahaha.

I really want to wear one on those. With Skull printed on them.

groovie!

thanks =)

New Additional Blog.

Okay.

I'm trying to fulfill my dream job.

hehehe.

starting with writing novel or short stories.
Click link below to connected directly to the blog.

Mendung ; Just Another Story

so,

I already created one other blog for my writing materials.

feel free to surf and read up.

It might make you bore to death.

But do read it, if you may.

I can't think of the title yet. But feel free to read okay ?!

thanks for dropping by!

=)

Maybe [ ]

 Maybe, Sung By Kelly Clarkson

I'm strong
But I break
I'm stubborn
And I make plenty of mistakes
Yeah I'm hard
And life with me is never easy
To figure out, to love
I'm jaded but oh so lovely
All you have to do is hold me
And you'll know and you'll see just how sweet it can be
If you'll trust me, love me, let me
Maybe, maybe

Someday
When we're at the same place
When we're on the same road
When it's OK to hold my hand
Without feeling lost
Without all the excuses
When it's just because you love me, you let me, you need me
Then maybe, maybe
All you have to do is hold me
And you'll know and you'll see just how sweet it can be
If you'll trust me, love me, let me
Maybe, maybe

I'm confusing as hell
I'm north and south
And I'll probably never have it all figured out
But what I know is I wasn't meant to walk this world without you
And I promise I'll try
Yeah I'm gonna try to give you every little part of me
Every single detail you missed with your eyes
Then maybe
Maybe, yeah maybe

One day
We'll meet again and you'll need me, you'll see me completely
Every little bit
Oh yeah maybe you'll love me, you'll love me then

I don't want to be tough
And I don't want to be proud
I don't need to be fixed and I certainly don't need to be found
I'm not lost
I need to be loved
I just need to be loved
I just want to be loved by you and I won't stop 'cause I believe
That maybe, yeah maybe
Maybe, yeah maybe

I should know better than to touch the fire twice
But I'm thinking maybe, yeah maybe you're mine

Maybe, love maybe

--

---

-----

For those who is still confused, literally unexpectedly lost with feelings.

(Yeah! I am drunk while listening to this song, drunk with caffeine)

too much coffee, too much excitement and electrical surged inside my brain.

My Dream Job.

(it only happen when I am fast asleep)

--

---

----

------

Yes, everyone has their own dream job.

To make something from dream to reality, what does it requires ?

and THAT mingle in my mind.

all these questions pop up in my mind, just appraising the word DREAM it self.

1. Are you strong enough to let go of everything you had just to chase your dream?

2. Are you willing enough to start from the very bottom of reality ?

3. Does that dream of yours really going to last until the day death take you away ?

4. Will you get bored if there is nothing (frankly) achievement to be gained ?

5. When you get tired with chasing your dream, will you withstand until the last drop of your blood ?

6. What does it make you (yes! you!) want to achieve that dream ?

7. Is it really important to live you dream, rather than living like everyone else who is dreamless ?

9. If there is obstacles, will you eventually stand to very last of it ?

10. Why do you want to make your dream reality ?

And yes.

I have my dream job also.

1. I want to work as Journalist. 

(the one who go around the world, sending texts column, reviewing the world we lived in and photographs any that is came out of the blue.)

2. I want to become Photographer.

(Back-packers photographers as you might say. Linger myself only with a hand full of film, a very fine tuning camera, tent and tools to develop film).

3. I want to work as Editorial.

(Yes! I want to wrote all the reviews, establish my own magazine!. Could be any magazine, but i would say to be one of the travel and photography magazine)

4. I want to become Investigator.

(hahaha. this one is funny. I like to investigate things. I just can't stop my curiosity. It just went wild!. I will to find the answers if I may.)

5. I want to become a Movie Director.
(This should be my top 3 ! haha. really!)

6. I want to wrote my self a novel.
(I really, into dark and creepy novel. looking forward to wrote my 1st thriller novel. hope i have time to start writing again.)

--

---

----

These are the top most list of my DREAMs.

It is either let it be dream or living it.

--

---

So, for the very first time.

Im hoping you guys also making a review/ comment about your own Dream Job on your blog.

Take care.

See you soon!.

=)